F you.

Fuck you Dr. Perlmuter for giving me an F rather than an incomplete on my Fall semester. If I need a transcript for something ever, this is going to make for some freaking explaining. And such, fuck you.

Unexpected compliment.

Best unexpected compliment ever - getting stopped on the lakeshore trail to get asked about my workout routine. Clearly, despite feeling fat lately, I must be doing something right. :)

Grad school blues.

Hearing about how I actually have to actually repay my ridiculously large loans just took all the wind out of my sails about probably rocking a midterm I didn't know I had today. I need a job.

Sweet dreams are made of this.

I have dreams of owning this beautiful piece of baking machinery.

Now, to save the $250 I need to buy this bad boy. Forget getting married and putting it on a registry, this would be a fabulous graduation gift. Such perfection! And look at the fabulous blender to match. I could make a mean blue hawaiian in that bad boy.

/end baking nerd.

Afternoon pick me up.

I went downstairs for a yogurt and ended up with this lovely Thursday afternoon snack. The yogurt (black cherry Greek yogurt) was fabulous. But the latte was a weird concoction of Keurig coffee with sugar-free raspberry syrup and milk. Note to the Internet, raspberry lattes are not awesome. Only ok at best. Oh well, time to caffeinate up anyway for some afternoon report writing.

Airplane gripes.

Nobody gives a flying fart about stories of your kids (who aren't with you) on airplanes. Nobody! So stop annoying g everyone around you with them and let me board the plane so I can find a little piece of solo sanity on a plane full of annoying people. Apparently, I hate people.

*
I think I've just been karma-d in the face with an older woman sitting in the aisle seat by me. My bet is she is either going to try to talk my ear off, ask me a bunch of annoying questions, or be super demanding. Now, I just need to hope I'm sleepy enough to pass out most of the flight.

*
Looks like I was wrong, this lady just held open our middle seat with her scariness and her persistent sweater holding trick. Boo yah, awesome old lady! Now, to hope there's not a screaming child nearby or someone relocates to this seat.

Bam in the ham!

*Denotes the passage of time.

Punch in the face.

People who make up their own abbreviations for places should be punched in the face. I mean do you know where SaMo is? This swift blow to the head should also be delivered to people who regularly shorten common words (a la totes), or who use internet slanguage in daily speech (a la lol). It is god awful to hear the (mostly) young-ins butcher speech in that way. Leave it to the interwebs, people! At least pretend like you have a brain!

This bitchy update was sponsored by my lack of sleep this fine Friday morning. Time to make some coffee!

"Best friend."

I hate it when people say they got engaged/married their best friend. You should really not be sleeping with your best friend, kinda makes that person not your friend anymore, right? (Hint: because they're your lover.) Or you're just a loser who doesn't actually have friends outside your partner. Or you're not having sex with your partner which is far, far worse.

I love my boyfriend, we have lots of sex, we share a lot of ourselves with each other, but he's not my best friend. I've got my college BFF among other close friends to fill that role in my life. It's called boundaries people! They're healthy and you'll wish you had them when you end up divorcing your best friend.

Seriously dude?

Definitely just saw some ass hat use a red light as a stop sign at UChicago. I guess at least he checked both ways first?

A Counselor of a Different Color

I've been enjoying my career counseling class lately, which is weird because I've been super burnt out on school since transferring to the masters program. While it may just be early quarter eager beaver syndrome, it's been a particularly comical interest for me to have. For the past 6-7ish years I've been a professional grad student with two mini breaks for unemployment and extremely brief full-time employment. I have been a student not simply out of academic curiosity, but out of delaying the full-time grind and also because I haven't been absolutely sure of what I wanted to do. I thought at first I'd be a clinical psychologist until getting into my current grad school, which has been pretty consistently sucky. And for the past couple of years, I've felt pretty confused and lost on my current life track.

Several things I do like doing? Telling people what to do. Being in charge. Teaching people how to do or about new things. I'm definitely not going back to school right now to pursue ether dietetics or high school biology teacher, but with my current degrees I can combine my interests in science, health, and bossing people around as a health educator, or hell, a career counselor. Now that would be funny. The girl who's been unable to stick with or bear with having a full-time gig telling others what to do with their lives. Love it.

Again, let's see if the eager beaver thing wears off or not before I start career planning...

Hater.

I am in love with an amazing man. I hate him so much. ;)

Excessive fb photage.

Really? Are you going to post a picture of every day of your kid's life? That seems just a tad excessive. And I mean who cares to see 1,483 pictures of your kid sleeping or eating or farting? Start a non-facebook blog already Grandma and your personal overindulgence. End baby rant.

Procrastination Station.

The only time I ever seem to be able to get anything done is around 10pm the night before it is due. Or worse yet, as I seem to have developed in my second masters program, the morning of. I will do everything and anything else I can to avoid a task and I did just that today - worked out, washed dishes, watched tv, uploaded pictures. Well, here's to another project starting at 10:30pm for a presentation I'm giving at 9am tomorrow. At this point, whatever will be will be. I'll do the second part of this (a 1-2 pager in response to an article) after I'm done, or more likely after class tomorrow, or even more likely on my break between clients tomorrow evening. It may seem like I'm a total slacker, but you know what? I'm a smart cookie and it seems to work. Let's hope that trend continues!

Client gripes.

I really want to change the system at prac. As of now, there is no penalty for no showing their assessments with me. Which is all well and good but I think that clients get strong armed into making appointments they know they won't keep. The result? I get stuck waiting here for 45 minutes for a client who didn't want this appointment in the first place and isn't going to show up. Luckily today I have a meeting here at 1pm anyway, however, it would have been nice to just linger in my bed this morning. Not been up at 6:30am for a client who doesn't actually plan to keep their appointment.

My suggestion? Let me have their file ahead of time so I, who have no interest in their coming or not coming, can be frank and let them know I'll be waiting around if they don't show. I think the guilt factor, which may not fly with the IRB, would probably be quite effective. And then everyone would be happy - me sleeping at home and the PI for getting in more consistent clients. See, brilliant solution!

Hipster Livelihood.

I need to drink out of more mason jars. Stat. Now, where can I procure these from? First stop, mom's kitchen!

Hump Day Randomness.

Running into a client on the way into work because you parked in the same sketchy place? How random. We definitely don't get the perks of the good parking at UChicago. I burst that bubble with my run in today.

It's Always Sunny... In Chicago?

Yet another reason why I'm super excited to move to LA, all that sun will beat off the seasonal depression. Just getting a single sunny 50 degree day in January freaking rocks my socks off. Finally I can send a big thank you to the Chicago weather gods for giving us a good wacky weather day. Yay!

Not the doctor.

Damn you Christian. Everytime I hear this song.

Crystal Blue Persuasion.

Just need to think happy, warm thoughts for another 186 days until I can make my move to LA. It's 26 degrees here and 71 in Santa Monica. I'd like to kick these winter blues for good. Is it too early to start packing? I need to start by getting my blue shades back from Drexler because where I'm going, I'm gonna need them.

Dating blows.

This may sound bad, but hearing the drama of my single friends dating lives reinforces how happy I am to have a ninja of my own. Dating is a plague that I wouldn't wish on my enemy. So many rules and over analysis. And this coming from a person who wants to do that for a living. Not to say that I'm completely free of obsessing, I just know in the end that I don't need to. I'm just a retard for doing so.

Not to mention that I suck at it because I don't play the games many people seem to in dating. And I don't follow rules either. It's probably a big part of why I have the boyfriend that I do. He's an awesome rule breaking boy. I guess he pretty much rocks all around. Just don't let him hear that because his head is big enough already...

Old enough.

Today I asked an older woman if she had kids. When she said no she asked me if I had any. That was a first for me, but I guess it's age appropriate as a 28-year-old.

Crap, this blog is rapidly morphing into "filthy babies." Damn you biological clock. Leave me alone!

Baby fashionista.

When I have a baby, I am totally going to make it wear hoodies with ears and classic winnie the pooh gear at all times.

And of course USC gear. I mean duh. Except no daughter of mine will wear a song girl outfit until she's of appropriate Halloween ho-ing age (as in when she is a freshman at USC). Little girls should be wearing football jerseys. Teach them to be strong women first, then they can ho it up later in life, when they choose to do so.

Those are retardedly cute. Ok, ovaries, stop making me baby crazy now! Gahhhhhh!

Creepy.

This whole thing with professionally done pregnancy photo shoots is creeping me out. Maybe I'm a bit of a traditionalist, but I think photos of your growing bare belly should be saved for your close family, not facebook. Ew. That and sonagram photos. Putting everything on facebook makes it less special in my mind. While I'm definitely a big facebook poster, I also (generally) know what my audience wants to see and what they don't.

My solution? Start a baby blog. I know I myself plan to do this. I may not add the bare belly pictures, but I fully intend to track my belly changes with time, add photos of my kids, relay random anecdotes. Maaaaaybe post a sonogram photo. It's really just about knowing your audience. If you have the link to my baby blog, you're probably going to be a part of my close friends or family and not just any ol' weird friend of mine on facebook that I probably don't actually know. I mean, who knows what those people do with your pictures on facebook. Think about it; we grant so much access to our lives but we don't really think about the scope of how that information can be used. I know I'm an open book, but there are certain things that just creep me out.